The Buang Biker™ is Allergic to Sex

Not that kind. Henergy-on-Wheels™ is proof of that. No, your Buang Biker™ is allergic to plants having sex. I mean, isn’t that what pollen is after all? Plants and trees reproducing?

I can’t tell if it’s climate change, global warming, or just old age, but the past few Springs have been a chore to pedal on. Still, vernal allergies beat summer heat any day of the week.

It’s just a real pain to ride with red, watery eyes. As they say: better red than dead. So, ride I will while I can.

Pedal [cough cough] on!™

The Buang Biker™ Gets 3 Bucks … by Surprise!

The Morning 20 has already become the Morning Mundane. In an effort to spice things up I’ve decided to ride down the road a few extra miles to make a Morning 25. This new route has brought me back to our favorite named trail: Scheiße Creek, I mean, Hollow Creek Greenway.

I picked up the green way about midway in. You know, where the nose knows it’s getting close.

As I turned the corner, I found three bucks. Or maybe does. I don’t know. They didn’t stick around long enough for me to check. All I know is that I managed to sneak up on 3 deer. That’s not something easily done around here. Usually, they know I’m coming a mile away. Also, I thought I was pretty noisy, but something caught their attention.

Their hind legs were on the pavement and their front legs were on the side of a steep hill like. Their necks stretching and craned like they were cornering something.

As I turned the corner and came face to snout with this sight, we all paused for a second. The looks on their faces was priceless. It wasn’t a scared look. It was more a look of “Oh scheiße. I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.”

Immediately, they turned around and took off in the other direction, scattering like crooks running away from the police.

The things I see on a bike…..

Pedal on!™

And Who the Heck Puts a Highway Sign in Their Backyard?????

Continuing my Stories from the Bucket List Ride……

A Maryland highway sign in a Pennsylvania backyard.

The first time I saw this I was was a year or two ago, and I was so tired that I didn’t even notice where I was. I was just thinking “I’m soooo cool. I made it to the Baltimore Beltway!”

It didn’t register at first. Nor right after I got home. Nor the next morning. It took a few days. Then I was like, “There is no way I could have ridden all the way to 695. The trail ends well before that highway.”

And the sign definitely read I-695 A.K.A. the Baltimore Beltway:

I was even more perplexed when I saw the “dailies” and realized the sign mentioned Annapolis, which is 180 degrees around the highway from the rail trail. What the fudge????

So I did a little more sleuthing.

Truly, the Maryland highway sign is basically in someone’s backyard. In Pennsylvania.

I don’t know what else to say. You just never know what you’re going to find on a bike ride. Wait till you hear my Gnome Hill, Maryland story…..

Until then, Pedal on!™

Buang Biker™ — Poop Along the Rail Trail

No. Not mine.

Nor the horses’.

As you may remember, I wrote about another trail in York County that crossed paths with a poop plant. Well, I learned during my recent Bucket List Trip that the York Heritage Rail Trail has no less than 4 poop processing plants (P3) along it’s 21 miles of track. Plus a fifth north of town.

The Rail Trail generally follows the path of Codorus Creek and one of its main tributaries. There was a time that it had earned the nickname Inky Stinky. And while there are so many P3s along the Codorus, it really doesn’t stink any more.

But it also makes me hesitant to dip a cup in when I run out of water. I’m not sure I’d even try a filtering straw unless my life depended upon it.

For the most part, the P3s are easily missed. The one north of the city is the only one I’ve ever actually smelled. And people fish on the banks by the plant! Hopefully, catch and release, because I’m not sure I’d want to eat a fish I caught right outside of a poop plant. I’m sure the water is relatively safe, but……..

Anyway, I’ll just have to keep calling it the Codorus Creek, because it’s not inky. Nor stinky. Plus, I already bestowed the nickname Scheiße Creek to that other waterway.

Until next time: Pedal on!

Buang Biker™ Long Trip Lesson #1

Water is heavy!

I’d been researching food and hydration to prepare for Bucket List Item #1. The general advice was: stay hydrated. I drank plenty of water the evening before and with breakfast. But I also had to make sure I took enough for the trip.

Some very unpleasant past experiences on long rail trail rides probably led me to overcompensate with the amount of water. Two 24 ounce bicycle water bottles was not enough to take me from Glen Rock to the state line and back a few years ago. It was warmer then.

I suspected I might need water by the time I was empty in New Freedom. And it was really annoying that there’s very little public water fountains available these days. I may be carbon dating myself, but I remember a time when public water fountains were readily available.

Anyway, on that brief jaunt from Glen Rock to the line and back I ended up getting overly warm and not having enough water available. By the time I got back to the parking lot, I didn’t even have enough strength to attach the bikes to the rack (this lead me to changing bike racks, but that’s another story).

I couldn’t even talk I was so dehydrated. This didn’t seem to bother Mrs. Biker too much. However, I was trying to get her to buy me something to drink at the restaurant nearby (the late, lamented Mignano Brothers). She didn’t understand what I was trying to say. So, realizing that I needed liquids immediately, I walked off to get some myself.

And I collapsed.

Well, more like I was 3 feet from the front door, walked into shade, sat down for a second and couldn’t get back up. I tried. It wasn’t happening. Plus, I was out of sight of Mrs. Biker, so I couldn’t get her attention for help.

Finally, after what felt like 20 minutes she sent Henergy-on-Wheels™ over to check on me. He made many trips inside for bottled water and Cokes to help me get to the point I could stand again. I think this was the scariest incident ever for me involving bikes. Even scarier than getting run over (but, you guessed it, that’s another story).

Anyway, lesson learned. Carry lots of water.

So for Bucket List Item #1 I had both my frame mounted water cages carrying bottles, a 100 ounce / 3 liter Camelbak M.U.L.E. hydration system, and 2 or 3 more water bottles in the trunk pack, and a frozen Gatorade bottle for electrolytes at the end. Plus a few energy, breakfast, and protein bars for nourishment along the way. Didn’t think I’d need much more given that I’d had a decent breakfast and carbed up a bit the night before.

Doing the math (or maths, if you prefer), I carried approximately 220 ounces of water or nearly 1.75 gallons of fluid. At a rule of thumb 1 gallon of water weighs about 8.345 pounds. I added 14 pounds of weight to carry!

For my metric friends that was about 6.5 liters of water. Generally, 1 liter of water weighs about 1kg, Therefore, I was carrying around an extra 6.5kg of weight!

I was so sluggish getting to the trail that I felt like it was my first day back on the bike after winter hiatus all over again. Cornering felt precarious. Even downhill was a slog. But once I was on the trail and rolling along, it was barely noticeable.

Recommended intake is about 1 liter per hour. I didn’t even quite empty my Camelbak.

The ride down was just shy of 2.5 hours. I drank frequently on the way down. I paid for it on the way back.

The trip back took longer. Mainly because I was taking pictures of every mural and historical marker along the trail. However, all that water began catching up to me.

I learned that in addition to no public water fountains, there also aren’t enough portable toilets along the trail. They were few and far between. And I wasn’t about to pop off into the bushes on the side of the trail either. Besides the “No Trespassing” signs, the trail, even on a Monday morning, is well used. There wouldn’t have been enough cover even had there been no “No Trespassing” signs.

To make matters worse, the bladder was more than willing, but the urethra was crushed. ‘Twern’t much coming out even when I did find a spot. But after a few hours, life was flowing freely again. Whew! But it is a cause for consideration for the next big trip. I’ll have to do a little more research. I don’t want to end up like Tycho Brahe.

Also, this experience led me to explore what is possible with Google Maps. I ended up creating a map showing drinking fountains along the rail trail from John Rudy Park north of the City of York to the 7 mile marker south of the Maryland line. Hopefully, it will help others in need.

Until next time: Pedal on!

The Saturday Morning 20

Hot on the heels of accomplishing my first half century, your Buang Biker™ started a new exercise regiment today: getting up bright and early on a Saturday morning and riding 20 miles before breakfast. Originally it was going to be 10 miles, but then I realized that if I made a giant circle around Lake Redman and came back up the York Heritage Rail Trail, the hills wouldn’t be so bad. It also added about 10 miles to the trip.

It was a nice slightly soggy, foggy morn. Not ideal, but at least it was cool. Plus, it was worth it just to make it to Glatfelter Station for this photo.

The Buang Biker on a bridge of the Codorus at Glatfelter Station.

Can’t complain about witnessing such beauty early in the morning.

Until next time: Pedal on!