The Buang Biker™ is Allergic to Sex

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Not that kind. Henergy-on-Wheels™ is proof of that. No, your Buang Biker™ is allergic to plants having sex. I mean, isn’t that what pollen is after all? Plants and trees reproducing?

I can’t tell if it’s climate change, global warming, or just old age, but the past few Springs have been a chore to pedal on. Still, vernal allergies beat summer heat any day of the week.

It’s just a real pain to ride with red, watery eyes. As they say: better red than dead. So, ride I will while I can.

Pedal [cough cough] on!™

The Buang Biker™ Gets 3 Bucks … by Surprise!

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The Morning 20 has already become the Morning Mundane. In an effort to spice things up I’ve decided to ride down the road a few extra miles to make a Morning 25. This new route has brought me back to our favorite named trail: Scheiße Creek, I mean, Hollow Creek Greenway.

I picked up the green way about midway in. You know, where the nose knows it’s getting close.

As I turned the corner, I found three bucks. Or maybe does. I don’t know. They didn’t stick around long enough for me to check. All I know is that I managed to sneak up on 3 deer. That’s not something easily done around here. Usually, they know I’m coming a mile away. Also, I thought I was pretty noisy, but something caught their attention.

Their hind legs were on the pavement and their front legs were on the side of a steep hill like. Their necks stretching and craned like they were cornering something.

As I turned the corner and came face to snout with this sight, we all paused for a second. The looks on their faces was priceless. It wasn’t a scared look. It was more a look of “Oh scheiße. I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.”

Immediately, they turned around and took off in the other direction, scattering like crooks running away from the police.

The things I see on a bike…..

Pedal on!™

And Who the Heck Puts a Highway Sign in Their Backyard?????

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Continuing my Stories from the Bucket List Ride……

A Maryland highway sign in a Pennsylvania backyard.

The first time I saw this I was was a year or two ago, and I was so tired that I didn’t even notice where I was. I was just thinking “I’m soooo cool. I made it to the Baltimore Beltway!”

It didn’t register at first. Nor right after I got home. Nor the next morning. It took a few days. Then I was like, “There is no way I could have ridden all the way to 695. The trail ends well before that highway.”

And the sign definitely read I-695 A.K.A. the Baltimore Beltway:

I was even more perplexed when I saw the “dailies” and realized the sign mentioned Annapolis, which is 180 degrees around the highway from the rail trail. What the fudge????

So I did a little more sleuthing.

Truly, the Maryland highway sign is basically in someone’s backyard. In Pennsylvania.

I don’t know what else to say. You just never know what you’re going to find on a bike ride. Wait till you hear my Gnome Hill, Maryland story…..

Until then, Pedal on!™

Buang Biker™ — Poop Along the Rail Trail

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No. Not mine.

Nor the horses’.

As you may remember, I wrote about another trail in York County that crossed paths with a poop plant. Well, I learned during my recent Bucket List Trip that the York Heritage Rail Trail has no less than 4 poop processing plants (P3) along it’s 21 miles of track. Plus a fifth north of town.

The Rail Trail generally follows the path of Codorus Creek and one of its main tributaries. There was a time that it had earned the nickname Inky Stinky. And while there are so many P3s along the Codorus, it really doesn’t stink any more.

But it also makes me hesitant to dip a cup in when I run out of water. I’m not sure I’d even try a filtering straw unless my life depended upon it.

For the most part, the P3s are easily missed. The one north of the city is the only one I’ve ever actually smelled. And people fish on the banks by the plant! Hopefully, catch and release, because I’m not sure I’d want to eat a fish I caught right outside of a poop plant. I’m sure the water is relatively safe, but……..

Anyway, I’ll just have to keep calling it the Codorus Creek, because it’s not inky. Nor stinky. Plus, I already bestowed the nickname Scheiße Creek to that other waterway.

Until next time: Pedal on!

Buang Biker™ Long Trip Lesson #1

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Water is heavy!

I’d been researching food and hydration to prepare for Bucket List Item #1. The general advice was: stay hydrated. I drank plenty of water the evening before and with breakfast. But I also had to make sure I took enough for the trip.

Some very unpleasant past experiences on long rail trail rides probably led me to overcompensate with the amount of water. Two 24 ounce bicycle water bottles was not enough to take me from Glen Rock to the state line and back a few years ago. It was warmer then.

I suspected I might need water by the time I was empty in New Freedom. And it was really annoying that there’s very little public water fountains available these days. I may be carbon dating myself, but I remember a time when public water fountains were readily available.

Anyway, on that brief jaunt from Glen Rock to the line and back I ended up getting overly warm and not having enough water available. By the time I got back to the parking lot, I didn’t even have enough strength to attach the bikes to the rack (this lead me to changing bike racks, but that’s another story).

I couldn’t even talk I was so dehydrated. This didn’t seem to bother Mrs. Biker too much. However, I was trying to get her to buy me something to drink at the restaurant nearby (the late, lamented Mignano Brothers). She didn’t understand what I was trying to say. So, realizing that I needed liquids immediately, I walked off to get some myself.

And I collapsed.

Well, more like I was 3 feet from the front door, walked into shade, sat down for a second and couldn’t get back up. I tried. It wasn’t happening. Plus, I was out of sight of Mrs. Biker, so I couldn’t get her attention for help.

Finally, after what felt like 20 minutes she sent Henergy-on-Wheels™ over to check on me. He made many trips inside for bottled water and Cokes to help me get to the point I could stand again. I think this was the scariest incident ever for me involving bikes. Even scarier than getting run over (but, you guessed it, that’s another story).

Anyway, lesson learned. Carry lots of water.

So for Bucket List Item #1 I had both my frame mounted water cages carrying bottles, a 100 ounce / 3 liter Camelbak M.U.L.E. hydration system, and 2 or 3 more water bottles in the trunk pack, and a frozen Gatorade bottle for electrolytes at the end. Plus a few energy, breakfast, and protein bars for nourishment along the way. Didn’t think I’d need much more given that I’d had a decent breakfast and carbed up a bit the night before.

Doing the math (or maths, if you prefer), I carried approximately 220 ounces of water or nearly 1.75 gallons of fluid. At a rule of thumb 1 gallon of water weighs about 8.345 pounds. I added 14 pounds of weight to carry!

For my metric friends that was about 6.5 liters of water. Generally, 1 liter of water weighs about 1kg, Therefore, I was carrying around an extra 6.5kg of weight!

I was so sluggish getting to the trail that I felt like it was my first day back on the bike after winter hiatus all over again. Cornering felt precarious. Even downhill was a slog. But once I was on the trail and rolling along, it was barely noticeable.

Recommended intake is about 1 liter per hour. I didn’t even quite empty my Camelbak.

The ride down was just shy of 2.5 hours. I drank frequently on the way down. I paid for it on the way back.

The trip back took longer. Mainly because I was taking pictures of every mural and historical marker along the trail. However, all that water began catching up to me.

I learned that in addition to no public water fountains, there also aren’t enough portable toilets along the trail. They were few and far between. And I wasn’t about to pop off into the bushes on the side of the trail either. Besides the “No Trespassing” signs, the trail, even on a Monday morning, is well used. There wouldn’t have been enough cover even had there been no “No Trespassing” signs.

To make matters worse, the bladder was more than willing, but the urethra was crushed. ‘Twern’t much coming out even when I did find a spot. But after a few hours, life was flowing freely again. Whew! But it is a cause for consideration for the next big trip. I’ll have to do a little more research. I don’t want to end up like Tycho Brahe.

Also, this experience led me to explore what is possible with Google Maps. I ended up creating a map showing drinking fountains along the rail trail from John Rudy Park north of the City of York to the 7 mile marker south of the Maryland line. Hopefully, it will help others in need.

Until next time: Pedal on!

The Saturday Morning 20

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Hot on the heels of accomplishing my first half century, your Buang Biker™ started a new exercise regiment today: getting up bright and early on a Saturday morning and riding 20 miles before breakfast. Originally it was going to be 10 miles, but then I realized that if I made a giant circle around Lake Redman and came back up the York Heritage Rail Trail, the hills wouldn’t be so bad. It also added about 10 miles to the trip.

It was a nice slightly soggy, foggy morn. Not ideal, but at least it was cool. Plus, it was worth it just to make it to Glatfelter Station for this photo.

The Buang Biker on a bridge of the Codorus at Glatfelter Station.

Can’t complain about witnessing such beauty early in the morning.

Until next time: Pedal on!

The Buang Biker’s™ Bucket List Item #1

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Americans have a euphemism for the activities we’d like to accomplish before we die. It’s called a bucket list. The term is derived from that other American euphemism: “kick the bucket.” Kicking the bucket means a person died. As in “Hey! Did you hear? Sam kicked the bucket today.”  I’m sure there’s a very good reason this phrase came about. But I don’t care.

The important thing is that I got to scratch off item #1 on my bucket list.  I put in 50 miles today riding the length of the York County Rail Trail from the City of York to the Maryland line and back again.

Boo!

Yah!

I’ve made known my desire to make this happen for several years.  Last year I even took the substantial step (love that lawyer speak?) of actually planning time off from work to do it.

And it rained.

Then it rained some more.

Finally, I broke my wrist on the terrible streets of Towson.  (Which was immediately paved after my fall. Mostly to cover up any evidence of culpability in my skidding out of control on the chopped up roadway I’m sure. Remember, it’s not paranoia if they’re really after ya.)

Anyway …. this year I did!

I’m quite full of myself at the moment. I know for many seasoned bikers 50 miles / 80 km is no big deal. But this is a first for me.

I learned a few things on this trip. Some were great. Some stank. Literally. But that’s a post for another time.

Right now I’m reveling in my grand accomplishment.

And pain.

Time to plan for item #2…..

Oh, and there was Moonlight!

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Every year the county parks department offers moonlight bike rides along the Rail Trail. Tonight’s was the first one of the season. After planning to go, then calling it off due to someone’s homework responsibilities, we decided 90 minutes before the start to go. That meant a harried hour of putting together the full bike rack and checking over the bikes, so Mrs. Biker could join Henergy-on-Wheels™ and I on the trip.

While doing this I kept an eye on the sky. Clouds that were 50 shades of grey and looking like a cow just before milking (the things we learn living in dairy country) started passing overhead. The radar showed all clear. So I continued prepping for the ride.

It was still dry as we left JolliBee Acres, but we were heading right into the Christian and Anastasia clouds.

By the time we made it to Hanover Junction it was dark. Very dark. Fifty shades darker. We were expecting moonlight after all. But at least it was dry.

These rides are typically well attended by families and slow moving. Not so much tonight. Most likely because of Passover and Easter. The goal was to get to Howard Tunnel and turn around. We made it. But it had been all downhill.

Henergy and I were concerned, because Mrs. Biker hadn’t been on a ride in maybe a year and it was all uphill on the way back. Well, it was about a 0.75% grade. Technically that’s uphill. But there’s nothing like a cold rain to move those pedals.

We weren’t soaked, just wet by the time we got back. And oh so proud of Mrs. Biker for completing the trek with neither a huff nor a puff. After a bit of socializing we headed home. That was when the full moon broke through the clouds. But by that point we were in the car and “Freed” from worry of rain anyway.

Pedal on!

Wotta View

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Wish the atmosphere had been clearer, because it is quite a view. On a clear day, we would have seen Three Mile Island. But what really matters is just spending time on bikes with Henergy-on-Wheels™.

It’s amazing how much he’s advanced in one very incomplete year of mountain biking. Today’s trip was about 13 miles and an elevation gain of 1,361 feet. Climbing 100 feet per mile is just an amazing feat.

Pedal on!

The Buang Biker™ Goes to … Bedrock?????

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Well, not quite. Not the land of Fred Flintstone and family. It was actually an unexpected trip to New York City that had us up from 3 in the morning to 1 the following morning. It started with a one hour ride to get to the bus that would take us on a 4 hour ride to NYC. After a brief 20 block walk on an incredibly gorgeous morn, we arrived where we needed to be, did our business (ahem), and proceeded to spend the rest of the day soaking up mid-town Manhattan before we had to return to complete our business.

We made a quick dash for fuel at a Barnes & Noble Starbucks, then another 20 block walk to Central Park. I’ve been to NY two or three times before. But now that I’ve walked in Central Park I feel I can honestly say that I’ve been to NYC.

We went everywhere on foot, because there was just so much to see and absorb. However, bicycles were a big part of the day as they were everywhere. Our introduction to biking in NY was almost watching a delivery truck take out a bicyclist just past the Lincoln Tunnel.

Turns out our bus driver was an amazing driver. He managed to fit that huge bus between said delivery truck (which was parked along side cars parked along the curb) and a parked car parked along the curb on the other side. Basically, it was a three lane road that the delivery truck turned into a four lane road by necessity. Cars got through without much problem. But a big hulking bus? Not so much. How our driver got our bus that far without a scratch is beyond me. I think his other vehicle must be a TARDIS.

The looks on the delivery truck driver’s face and the face of the traffic cop were priceless. They were obvious “how the hell did he get that thing that far without touching anything” looks.

Anyway, with a little prodding the delivery truck driver reluctantly pulled ahead and parked next to the curb on the other side of the street, almost running over a bicyclist in the process. I used that as a teaching moment for Henergy-On-Wheels™ to always be alert when on a bike.

And while it was heartening seeing all the bicycling going on in the Big Apple (especially while it’s totally optional and not the only legal form of personal transportation available), it was soooo much cooler seeing, walking, and being part of Central Park.

What wowed me and really appealed to the science geek in me was the prevalence of bedrock throughout the park. Not just stones and boulders, but actual, honest-to-gosh, primordial bedrock with all the air and moisture long squeezed out of it and sags from molten slags back in the day.

It was just SO. UNBELIEVABLY. COOL! It felt like I was walking on baby Earth.

Did I mention how cool it was?

And it was all over the park. We know, because we walked over half the park. We didn’t go to the zoo, but we saw a few ponds, the nature area, the skating rink, baseball fields, food vendors, paths and paths and paths and bicyclists. The amphitheater too. I even got in a game of chess with
Henergy-On-Wheels™ at the Chess & Checkers House.

Finally, after about 6 to 7 hours of walking around Central Park we decided to end the day at the Bethesda Fountain. This landmark figured prominently into the opening number of the 1973 movie Godspell and was one of the many places your Buang Biker™ had long wanted to visit.

We had just enough time before our afternoon business appointment to rest a little while. Henergy™ and Mrs. Biker were so wiped out they literally fell asleep on bedrock.

Asleep on the bedrock

Bedrock. So coooooool.

Until next time (when I talk about the bolts on the drains in Central Park):

Pedal on!

Deer Towson, The Buang Biker™ Walks on By

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A nice leisurely luncheon rambling perambulation through suburban Towson led to an amazing roadside sight :

Dinner, I mean the deer, was within 2 meters of the sidewalk of a heavily trafficked road that cuts through Towson University.

Sometimes slowing down and getting off the saddle better reveals nature’s wonders.

Pedal on!

The Towson Sights the Buang Biker™ Sees

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I thought I’d comment on a few of the random sites I see on my hikes and bikes. This one is my favorite so far this year. The Buang Biker™ is a fan of this person now.

And there are some odd things to see. Like what the heck is getting broadcast? This yagi antenna is pretty much pointed right at Towson University residences.

But then there are also amazingly beautiful mini waterfalls in the middle of town:

Next time, the Six Bridges Trail.

Until then….Pedal on!

The Buang Biker™ … Bikes!

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Today was my first time out for a lunch ride on Joe. It was also my first real ride on Joe since the road rose up to meet me and fractured my wrist.

What most people don’t realize is how hilly Towson is! At least not until you have to walk or bike it.

It’s actually pretty amazing how many people have managed to cram houses next to each other on the hills. What’s more amazing is the ingenuity the homeowners have when it comes to make use of the hills for activities. To wit, who woulda thought to make a rock climbing wall for their backyard:

On the other hand, the streams throughout Towson are littered with basketballs and soccer balls lost to the hills.

Pedal on!

The Buang Biker™ Finds the Forest

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Antenneskog

by Rolf Jacobsen

Oppe på byens tak er det store sletter.
Dit krøp stillheten opp da det ikke var plass til den på gatene.
Nå kommer skogen efter.
Den må være der hvor stillheten holder til.
Tre følger på tre i underlige lunder.
Den får det ikke riktig til for bunnen er for hard.
Det blir en glissen skog, en gren mot øst,
og en mot vest. Til det ligner på kors. En skog
av kors. Og vinden spør
– Hvem hviler her
i disse dype graver?

_________________________________________________________________________________

Antenna-forest

Translated by Roger Greenwald

Up on the city’s roofs there are large fields.
That’s where silence crept up to
when there was no room for it on the streets.
Now the forest comes in its turn.
It needs to be where silence lives.
Tree upon tree in strange groves.
They don’t do very well, because the floor is too hard.
So they make a sparse forest, one branch toward the east,
and one toward the west. Until it looks like crosses. A forest
of crosses. And the wind asks
– Who’s resting here
in these deep graves?

The Buang Biker™ Finally Uses the Only Norwegian Word He Knows

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While riding the Heritage Rail Trail in York City with Henergy-on-Wheels™, yours truly noticed a sight that took him back to his undergrad days when life was carefree and Weezer came Undone. Back in those days I had an interest in Scandanavia, which eventually led to 4 trips to Iceland and some really great friends.

But before that first trip, I came across a bi-lingual book of Norwegian poetry at college: Twenty Contemporary Norwegian Poets. One poem that caught my fancy was “Antennaskog”. Skog is Norwegian for forest, and the imagery conjured up in that one word alone of rooftops blanketed by antennas, the progress of communication, and the alienation of individuals transcended language. The word has stuck in my mind ever since.

It’s a word I finally got to share with my son upon turning a bend in the trail and seeing:

A cell phone antenna tower wrapped in faux foliage.

Who would have thought that after 30 years it would make utter sense to use the word antennaskog in small town America?

Pedal on……

The Buang Biker™ and the Blustery Day

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Aplogies to A.A. Milne and Walt Disney

The Buang Biker and a flapping bag.

There’s nothing like a blustery day (97kph gusts) to walk about and ruminate. My lunch time walk around Towson got me to thinking about all the adventures I haven’t posted yet from last year.

There were a few nice rides along the York County Heritage Rail Trail with Mrs. Biker. There was the scare last August when Henergy-on-Wheels™ contracted infections after a ride that led to oozing, weeping legs and the fear that necrotizing fasciitis might be a possibility. I’ve careened down hills at 64kph on a bicycle while thinking of the disasters possible should I wipe out. I’ve been struck by a car and thought I might lose my foot just before it hit. But NOTHING compares to that summer scare with my son. I’m just so glad that his doctors figured out what was going on and were able to help him get better.

I also got to thinking about will I ever go on a bicycle tour? I would love to have the time, money, and physical capabilities to ride Pennsylvania Bicycle Route J from state line to state line.

So while walking along alone thinking of life, the universe, and everything it just seemed fitting that my thoughts would be strangely drawn to the lone plastic bag perched atop a winter-barrened tree, flapping noisily in the winds, struggling to get away. Your Buang Biker™ is definitely looking forward to Spring. But winter is certainly easier to maintain my moniker, because, yes, I’ve been on a few rides at -5C.

Pedal on!

The Buang Biker™ Gets Rocked

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Tried to take the trail less traveled tonight at Rocky Ridge. Started out on 5. Moderately challenging. That morphed into 5B. Looked interesting. Then 5B disappeared somewhere and became 6. Ohhhh six! 6 puts the rocky in Rocky Ridge.

Got rocked, but never rolled. Thankfully. Then the Buang Biker™ stopped off to see if there were any radio buds at the Keystone VHF Clubhouse.

No luck. Not even a deer around. But my! Those antennas are impressive. I believe the Norwegians would call that antennaskog.

Henergy-on-Wheels™ Learns Improv on the Trail

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After about an hour into a group ride today, Henergy-on-Wheels™ lost his front tube. With no visible damage, we decided to try pumping it to see if that might help get us quickly to the car. We figured that if the tire weren’t punctured, then perhaps the leak was just a small pinch hole from log jumping. Why didn’t we fix it then and there on the trail? We just made the cliched move: no back up tube or patch. Cue the eye roll.

But…it worked.

Sweet.

It got us back to the car, but it was going flat again. We wanted to ride a bit more, so what to do? We rummaged through the car for a patch. The Buang Biker™ can be shamed for not having extra bike repair gear on hand. However, he’s also a ham radio operator. And that means copious rolls of electrical tape laying around.

At first we had trouble getting it to stick to the tube, but that had more to do with the residual talcum powder. We rubbed as much as would come off in the area of the pinpoint hole, and we got a few strips to stay on long enough to reseat the tube/tire and ride for another half hour or so.

A few hours later it’s still firm enough for a ride! But we’re not pushing it. Mainly because we might have to push it.

Still, Henergy-on-Wheels got his first taste of improv. Too bad the joke was on me. 😉